There is a certain disharmony within a child who knows that their dad exists, but never tries to make contact with the child. The child grows up with the stress of not being able to explain why they Recieve no visits from their father. Many times, the child finds that blaming themselves makes the most sense. They lack the knowledge in psychology to understand all the complicated factors that may lead their dad away from them.
As we know, some of the craziest people learn psychology and become psychologists. People who struggle with very intimate social struggles have a need to understand when their is s void in their life. Why does dad not come home? Is he dead?
If the dad is known to be dead, then the child can go through a grieving process instead of struggling to understand why dad is so distant emotionally. I think for a child to move on and develop into a stronger person, that it’s probably better for an absent dad to be physically dead. This may sound cryptic, but it can serve a better, more spiritual purpose for a kid growing up. Their dad can be watching them from above instead of boozing at a bar. Or their dad is in the child’s heart instead of in another woman’s bed.
Perhaps the stress of believing that a dad needs to be present causes the stress. Our culture enforces a nuclear family, but that is the cultural belief. Not every culture has the same approach to family values. Different families hold their own unique stresses of detachment and attachments.