I Live with a Fear of Raping Women Every Day and it tears me up inside

Ever since I was taught about how dangerous I could be in Middle School or High School in the late 1980s, I have feared the accusations. Women have a lot of power of influence against men in that they get the benefit of the doubt. A man has to be very careful around women because he can get his life changed on a simple accusation.

Ever since I heard about a male student, Brent Roux (now deceased), in Rice Lake High, Wisconsin, I have really been concerned. All he did during class was have a girl sit on his lap in class for a little bit and the school went in an uproar about it. I was not there, but apparently the girl didn’t want to sit on his lap, so he forced her to and she complained, or maybe the teacher reported the incident.

I never actually talked to anybody to find out more details about the incident. But, I took it as a warning not to touch any women unless absolutely positive that they are giving permission to do so. As much as I would have liked to be aggressive, I feared the repurcussions of being labeled a sex offender. I consider myself to have higher standards than the labels that the legal system like to give us.

I chose a very opposite reaction to dealing with attractive women. It drives me crazy to still be around them too and I’m almost 40. Is this normal? I just need a few more years for my testosterone levels to fall below normal and then I can maybe handle their presence. I find myself living in a fantasy world for a day or so after being in the presence of an attractive female. It doesn’t take much from the right kind of woman to stimulate me either. But an unnattractive woman can do everything in her power to get my attention and I feel nothing but contempt for them.

I feel good knowing that I’m out of the attractive girls range of male suitors. I have absolutely nothing to offer them, as I’m homeless and live in my car. But, I still feel the urges of desire sweep over me sometimes. It usually comes from the ladies who have good muscle tone. The fat and weak ones I perceive as sugar addicts and too unhealthy for anything but annoyance on the soul.

What is bothersome is how few and far between the attractive females are present in society and cities. As I bounce from one city to the next, I can’t help notice a very noticeable difference between the quality of women. Let’s compare McMinnville, Oregon to Longview, Washington for a moment. As I walked around McMinnville, I noticed a lot of attractive ladies. I was astounded and in love with the environment.I don’t know what they do, maybe it’s something in the water, but there are a lot of beautiful young ladies there. I get over to Longview and I see nothing.

Both cities are relatively the same size. Longview actually has a college too. McMinnville does not. I like the city design of Longview, but you know what? They don’t even put bathrooms in their parks. McMinville offers bathrooms. Could that make a difference? There is just a clear difference between the state of health between McMinnville and Longview. I like to think that maybe McMinville has an awesome phy-ed coach or something.

Longview bans smoking in their parks, while McMinnville allows it. Like smoking makes a big difference in young ladies health. The fat ones will still be fat no matter if they smoke or not.

Ok, I’m done.


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