Throwing frisbee over ducklings heads

When I was about 6, I lived on a hobby farm with just a handful of animals. They all were fun to play with, but I found that I played with them all in different ways. They all had different unique traits for their species. For example, with the ducks, I was always amazed at how closely they watched a frisbee fly by. So I got more daring and threw the frisbee past them as closely as I could without hitting any. Unfortunately, one got hit and its tiny head started bobbing in circles. I got scared, thinking mom would see it in that state, and quickly grabbed the duckling and threw it over the fence. I thought it was going to die. But, it turns out that it recovered and started cheeping for attention later in the tall grass.

I wished it would stop cheeping and I never went to find it. I felt so guilty for leaving that duckling in the tall grass for dead. Mom mentioned something about there being fewer ducklings later. I didn’t realize she counted them. I regret having thrown the frisbee so close to the ducklings to begin with. Then further making things by removing the duckling from its family to die starving outside of the fence.

My one small blunder may have contributed to the hobby farm failing. We later moved to the trailer court where I couldn’t be near any farm animals again.


6 thoughts on “Throwing frisbee over ducklings heads

  1. That was a good reply to that troll! Karma gunna smak em bad sometime! Just been thinking about yer post and am apalled you seem to carry the guilt still (if indeed that is what it is you do). Something that has helped me to get over being sexually abused and blaming myself when I was nine was I had a photo of myself when I was that age it happened. I was shocked at how little I was! There was no way I could be responcible. You were even younger than I. You were exploring your world. You had no idea of the real consequences of ANYTHING!

    • It seems like I should have known better. I demand a high discipline but sometimes don’t understand the rules clearly enough. Tonia is my sister and she echoes the sentiments of the family I came from. They all are slightly different elements of her. That’s part of the reason I choose to beat myself up instead.

      Were you Catholic at 9 years? I thought parents were supposed to be pretty strict with little girls around males. Many Catholic girls go “boy crazy” in their teens because of the discipline against boys.

      • Yes the disease of alcoholism has a way of taking whole families hostage, mixing everybody up, enmeshing identities so there
        aren’t any clear emotional boundaries so nobody owns what
        everbody knows; children are aware that their needs aren’tbeing met emotionally, no one is safe to be around, there is no support from the community, one is supposed to keep quiet and suffer hidious isolation for fear of other ppl finding out abt it & there is no possibility of true loving intimate relationships bc the center & energy of alcoholic’s home is ‘guarding the supply’.
        No not catholic tho I was very promiscuous as a young adult. That seems to be the pattern. the trauma from abuse has a way of changing a person’s world view so there is no safe place and one
        is not even safe in one’s own skin! esp, as in my case, the
        perpetrator threatened to kill me and my family.

      • Getting a threat as a child can have a big impact on your childhood. Sorry to read that your parents trusted such a person. Alcoholism can cloud a persons judgement for approving the trustworthy people.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s