It takes a strong act of willpower to spend time near a grocery store and not eat

when I used to own my home in Rice Lake, WI I could easily walk to the grocery store. I could go frequently, like every day. So, with my daily walks I allowed myself to eat as much as I wanted to. With a fairly large amount of disposable income, money was not a problem. I was limited by my appetite.

My frequent eating did cause problems with my health as I ballooned to 260 pounds. I carried a lot of fat and I always gave in to my lust for food. It was very easy to access the food, especially when the store was open 24 hours each day. Any whim I had could be satisfied with a piece of food from there. I probably got a little carried away.

Fast forward to today, and I am seeing how access to food leads to my sloth behavior. It was too easy to buy food. But now, things have changed. My emergency money is strained, EBT cut off, no known community meals available, also, food banks are closed. I am left with the willpower to stave off hunger and it’s harder being parked near a grocery store.

I slept at this grocery store overnight. However, my long stay is not welcome as clearly indicated by the signs that threaten to tow my car away. I walked a couple miles away to write this blog, so when I get back, my car could very well be gone.  Last night the cops also harassed me which further put strain on my stay in the grocery store parking lot.

I didn’t have much to do in the parking lot besides just sit and think. Every so often my mind would float back to thinking how easy the access is to food. I like to think the grocery store shouldn’t mind people hanging out in their parking lot because eventually we will get hungry and want to buy something. But some grocery stores are more welcoming than others.

Without EBT, the only reason I have to walk into a grocery store now is to use the bathroom. I need to put a a lot more focus on the food banks, community meals and Wildcrafting herbs in the woods. I don’t know enough about the wild edibles here in Oregon. It seems like there are fewer edible plants that grow wild here compared to Wisconsin. Maybe it’s just because I don’t know enough about them here.

You what is strange too is how I probably have like 10 pounds of a lot of dried bulk food in my car, but it’s very hard to eat in large quantities. I feel quite hungry while eating this dried food. I can understand how a dog must feel that can only eat dried dog food. It needs more fat to be satisfying. But the fat needs to be able to go rancid quickly. The fats that have a long shelf life are hard on my heart.


One thought on “It takes a strong act of willpower to spend time near a grocery store and not eat

  1. Changes! I found out I have diabetes this year. Hadda quit eating sugar. Became more interested in cooking in general and cooking w herbs specifically. In the space of 6 months I lost 11£. I think there are a lot of books written by local ppl abt wild food sources in the pacific north west. Check out the health food stores. There might be some classes even!

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