I used to spend a lot of hours in the gym working out. I thought that effort in muscle building will turn out to be a good thing. I was wrong and I weakly suspected it too. My physical strength was never an advantage for me or my future. I was hardly ever able to use my physical strength in a productive way.
The best scenario that I can think of where my physical strength came in handy was when I decided to fix a leaky pipe myself. I dug an 8 foot deep hole by 20 feet wide in my front yard. Some people yelled at me telling me that my neighbor had a mechanical digger, but I ignored those suggestions. I wanted to use my physical strength. In the end, I may have saved a few hundred dollars doing the work myself. But, I earned the respect from no one.
But now, after long periods of unemployment, my strength has gone to waste. In fact, it became a detriment to my being because all of the overeating created a drain on my savings account. I spent years eating more food than the average person to keep my strength up, and now I have to take a different direction to survive. i’m still unemployed, homeless, and penniless. I still have a little too much strength to feed and need to further cut back the calories to deal with this long period of inactivity.
I get scared sometimes from the inactivity. But I have to deal with it as best as I can, because I understand that very few people want to hire me. I don’t seem to fit into any culture, even though I still speak the English language. I’m like a foreigner that speaks the same language as everyone else.
Much of my problem was my overdependence on weightlifting. The strength-building efforts went a little too far. Do I blame myself? I saw a lot of imagery and read a lot of context about strength building. i was sold on the lifestyle. I didn’t just make it up. I was trying to achieve what other people achieved. Unfortunately, it was the wrong decision to make. It was too easy of a decision at the time to make. I set myself up to fail at quite an early age too.
I didn’t learn weightlifting values from any family members. Also, I really didn’t have any friends who were into the weightlifting lifestyle either. I was largely isolated from everybody. Looking back, I realize that they had more sense than me. They knew that all this weightlifting leads to no where. I didn’t balance my life properly enough.
I never developed proper skills for survival through my discipline in the weightlifting gym. If you look at the structure of the gym, it really doesn’t enhance your lifestyle anyway. I suffered many kinds of weightlifting injuries at the gym. It turned into the place I went to get myself injured. It was insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. I expected to lift more weights with the same motions. I was insane.
It’s tough having reality hit me in the face so hard. I have to spend more time reversing my thought process now in hopes that I still have a chance to jump back into the economy and make a dollar to survive another day. Thank you.